1 Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. 2 There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. 3 When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the sheep. Then they would return the stone to its place over the mouth of the well. Jacob asked the shepherds, “My brothers, where are you from?” “We’re from Harran,” they replied. He said to them, “Do you know Laban, Nahor’s grandson?” “Yes, we know him,” they answered. Then Jacob asked them, “Is he well?”“Yes, he is,” they said, “and here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep.” “Look,” he said, “the sun is still high; it is not time for the flocks to be gathered. Water the sheep and take them back to pasture.”“We can’t,” they replied, “until all the flocks are gathered and the stone has been rolled away from the mouth of the well. Then we will water the sheep.”

Yaakov meets the shepards and sees that they are not doing anything- they claim they are waiting for the rock to be rolled off to get to the water for the sheep.

One might ask, Yaakov is a stranger that just came to town and after some pleasantries he starts questioning the locals’ work habits, by saying- it is the middle of the day, why aren’t you giving the sheep water?! Why are you sitting around doing nothing? Furthermore, the locals surprisingly do not snap back at Yaakov- who are you?! Who do you think you are telling us how to do our work? Rather, they simply responded, we cannot, because of the big rock. They seemingly showed a respect for this newcomer. How was this accomplished by Yaakov?

[Parenthetically, one may ask a few questions about this rock: why today was different than any other day; did they always put the rock on and if so, how did they put it on but not be able to take it off, etc.]

The Ponovezher Rav (Rav Khaneman) quoted by the Yagdil Torah answers that Yaakov’s motivational secret was one simple word. When he met the locals he called them “My brothers” (where are you from). He showed that he felt a strong bond towards them, even though they had never met before.

The lesson is simply that when it comes to reprimanding or critiquing others, we may only be effective when first showing a care and genuine concern for the other person. Only then can we hope to connect to that person and have our suggestions carry some bearing.

Good Shabbos

Yaakov

 

This week’s parsha tells the story of Yaakov Avinu and his time spent working for Lavan, his evil father-in-law. As I explained in a previous Dvar Torah, the actions of our forefathers were very often a sign for what would happen to future generations. Chazal note that Yaakov, throughout his time with Lavan, was giving us a model for how we are supposed to successfully navigate Galut (exile) as Jews living among the non-Jewish nations.

The Shulchan Aruch learns an interesting halacha from the story of Yaakov. It states in the laws of hiring workers (חושן משפט הלכות שכירות פועלים סימן שלז):

מוזהר הפועל שלא יבטל מעט כאן ומעט כאן, אלא חייב לדקדק על עצמו בזמן… וכן חייב לעבוד בכל כחו, שהרי יעקב הצדיק אמר: כי בכל כחי עבדתי את אביכן (בראשית לא, ו); לפיכך נטל שכרו אף בעולם הזה, שנאמר: ויפרוץ האיש מאד מאד (בראשית ל, מג)

The worker should be careful to not waste a little [time] here and a little there. Rather, he is obligated to be very meticulous with his time…additionally, he has to work with his full strength, since it says about Yaakov our father, “Because with my full strength I served your father [Lavan](Genesis 31:6).”  Therefore, he received reward even in this [physical] world as it states: “And the man [Yaakov] became very very wealthy (Genesis 30:43).”

(This law is later qualified to state that an employer cannot force his workers to work harder or more efficiently than customary in a particular place.)

With this in mind, why is the major lesson for us from Yaakov’s time in exile his meticulous and unparalleled work ethic?

In the story of Yaakov and Lavan, Yaakov continually holds himself to a much higher standard that was expected by society. Yaakov gives Lavan a list of examples at the end of the Parsha about how scrupulously honest he was while working for Lavan.  Yaakov didn’t eat the weak rams that weren’t needed for fathering more sheep when he was shepherding far away from civilization, even though that was common practice. Even more amazingly, Yaakov paid Lavan out of his own flock even for the sheep that were stolen at night — a problem he certainly could not have been faulted for.

While Yaakov was rewarded by Hashem monetarily for his high morals and became prosperous while working for Lavan, his other “reward” was extreme animosity from Lavan’s sons, who claimed absurdly that Yaakov had made himself rich at the expense of Lavan, despite direct evidence that employing Yaakov benefited the finances of the entire family.

Throughout history we have seen this story play out over and over again, with Jews being accused falsely for unscrupulous business practices followed by the worst pogroms we can imagine. If this is the “reward” for being honest in business, is it really worth it?

While Yaakov did have to deal with the animosity of Lavan and his sons, when things got rough he was also given a promise from Hashem. The pasuk says (31:3 בְּרֵאשִׁית):

וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוָה אֶל-יַעֲקֹב, שׁוּב אֶל-אֶרֶץ אֲבוֹתֶיךָ וּלְמוֹלַדְתֶּךָ; וְאֶהְיֶה, עִמָּךְ.

And the LORD said to Jacob: ‘Return to the land of your fathers, and to your kindred; and I will be with you.’

The Abarbanel says that this means that Hashem will protect Yaakov from Lavan and prevent the resentful and angry Lavan from harming Yaakov at all. We see this happen right after Yaakov takes his family and leaves Lavan’s house to return to Israel.  While Lavan is angrily pursuing Yaakov, Hashem comes to him in a dream and warns him not to say or do anything bad to Yaakov.

From this story we see that even if we act completely morally, antisemitism will still exist and we will still need extra protection from Hashem. Yaakov had to be able to say to Lavan that he had been flawless in their business relationship in order to ensure that Lavan had absolutely no claim to exact from him before they finally parted ways to ensure that Hashem’s extra protection was warranted.

In this way, Yaakov set the model for contemporary Jewish society. By living our lives as morally as we can and remaining scrupulously honest in all of our business practices, we ensure that Hashem’s promise to Yaakov will be with us as well and that we will continue to thrive and build the Jewish people despite our living in exile.

Have a wonderful Shabbat.

 

VaYeitzei 5770 The book Mesillas Yesharim, describes how the fate of the world depends on human deeds. If a person is drawn after the physical, he distances himself from Hashem, will himself be corrupted and will corrupt the world with him. However, “if he can rule over himself and he cleaves to his Creator and uses this world solely to aid him in serving his Creator, he will be elevated and the world itself will be uplifted with him” (Chapter 1). This message can be learned from the Midrash quoted by Rashi (Bereishis 28:11) regarding the stones that Yaakov Avinu gathered for his resting spot. “[The stones] began to quarrel with one another – each one said, ‘Let the tzaddik rest his head upon me.’” Self-denial of worldly pleasures is not the Jewish ideal; being mekadesh the chol (sanctifying the mundane/secular) through its proper use in furthering our spiritual growth is. Good Shabbos!

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