1 Then Jacob continued on his journey and came to the land of the eastern peoples. 2 There he saw a well in the open country, with three flocks of sheep lying near it because the flocks were watered from that well. The stone over the mouth of the well was large. 3 When all the flocks were gathered there, the shepherds would roll the stone away from the well’s mouth and water the sheep. Then they would return the stone to its place over the mouth of the well. Jacob asked the shepherds, “My brothers, where are you from?” “We’re from Harran,” they replied. He said to them, “Do you know Laban, Nahor’s grandson?” “Yes, we know him,” they answered. Then Jacob asked them, “Is he well?”“Yes, he is,” they said, “and here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep.” “Look,” he said, “the sun is still high; it is not time for the flocks to be gathered. Water the sheep and take them back to pasture.”“We can’t,” they replied, “until all the flocks are gathered and the stone has been rolled away from the mouth of the well. Then we will water the sheep.”

Yaakov meets the shepards and sees that they are not doing anything- they claim they are waiting for the rock to be rolled off to get to the water for the sheep.

One might ask, Yaakov is a stranger that just came to town and after some pleasantries he starts questioning the locals’ work habits, by saying- it is the middle of the day, why aren’t you giving the sheep water?! Why are you sitting around doing nothing? Furthermore, the locals surprisingly do not snap back at Yaakov- who are you?! Who do you think you are telling us how to do our work? Rather, they simply responded, we cannot, because of the big rock. They seemingly showed a respect for this newcomer. How was this accomplished by Yaakov?

[Parenthetically, one may ask a few questions about this rock: why today was different than any other day; did they always put the rock on and if so, how did they put it on but not be able to take it off, etc.]

The Ponovezher Rav (Rav Khaneman) quoted by the Yagdil Torah answers that Yaakov’s motivational secret was one simple word. When he met the locals he called them “My brothers” (where are you from). He showed that he felt a strong bond towards them, even though they had never met before.

The lesson is simply that when it comes to reprimanding or critiquing others, we may only be effective when first showing a care and genuine concern for the other person. Only then can we hope to connect to that person and have our suggestions carry some bearing.

Good Shabbos

Yaakov

 

This week’s Dvar Torah is dedicated for a Refuah Sheleima for Sarah Freida bat Shoshana.

הַמַּלְאָךְ הַגֹּאֵל אֹתִי מִכָּל-רָע, יְבָרֵךְ אֶת-הַנְּעָרִים, וְיִקָּרֵא בָהֶם שְׁמִי, וְשֵׁם אֲבֹתַי אַבְרָהָם וְיִצְחָק; וְיִדְגּוּ לָרֹב, בְּקֶרֶב הָאָרֶץ.

The angel who has redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads; and let my name be named in them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.’

Everyone knows the famous Bracha (above) that Yaakov gives to Yosef’s sons, Ephraim and Menashe, but what does it really mean?

The Kli Yakar explains וְיִקָּרֵא בָהֶם שְׁמִי, וְשֵׁם אֲבֹתַי אַבְרָהָם וְיִצְחָק (let my name be named in them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac) in an interesting way. He says the blessing means that Ephraim and Menashe should be blessed with all the characteristics epitomized by the names “Avraham”, “Yitzchak”, “Yaakov” and “Yisrael”.

  • Avraham means אַב-הֲמוֹן גּוֹיִם- the father of a multitude of nations (17:5 בְּרֵאשִׁית). This Bracha means that they should be at the head of all other nations.
  • Yitzchak means laughter, blessing them that they should always be filled with happiness.
  • Yisrael comes from כִּי-שָׂרִיתָ עִם-אֱלֹהִים וְעִם-אֲנָשִׁים, וַתּוּכָל – for you have fought with angels and with men, and have prevailed. (32:29 בְּרֵאשִׁית) This Bracha means that they should always be able to overcome their internal obstacles.
  • Finally Yaakov comes from the saying עקב רב טוב הצפון לצדיקים – because of all the good reserved for Tzaddikim in the future. This Bracha tells them that even though sometimes life seems hard, they should draw strength from knowing that ultimately they will be rewarded for all the good that they do in their lives.

What is most interesting to me is that from this we see the true power of names. Names are not just a way to get a particular person’s attention but contain meaning about who that person is.

I heard from a podcast by Rabbi Berel Wein recently that this is why HaShem called Moshe “Moshe” when tasking him with saving the Jewish people. The Midrash tells us that Moshe was given another name at his birth and the name Moshe was only given by the daughter of Pharaoh. Why would HaShem choose to call Moshe by his Egyptian name?

Rabbi Wein explains the answer simply. When Moshe resisted and said to HaShem that he couldn’t speak well and couldn’t possibly be the man best suited for saving the enslaved Jewish people, HaShem responded by saying “your name is Moshe, which means drawn out [of the water]. It is for this purpose that you were saved from the Nile.”

This, said Rabbi Wein, is the value of reading the names of all the people who perished in the Holocaust. We are reminding ourselves that just as those people and their names had power, so do we. Just like Moshe, we should remember that we have all been saved and placed here for a reason.

We all have our own unique name with our own unique purpose. But we should remember that we are not alone; we have been blessed with all the powers of our ancestors as well.

Shabbat Shalom

 

The Pasuk says “ה. וַיִּשָּׂא אֶת עֵינָיו וַיַּרְא אֶת הַנָּשִׁים וְאֶת הַיְלָדִים וַיֹּאמֶר מִי אֵלֶּה לָּךְ וַיֹּאמַר הַיְלָדִים אֲשֶׁר חָנַן אֱ־לֹהִים אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ - And he (Esau) lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and he said, “Who are these to you?” And he (Yakov) said, “The children with whom God has favored your servant.” (33:5)

Esau wasn’t a fool, he knew Yakov had his family and entourage with him. This is obvious, as he brought a small army with him to kill them all. So why then, does this conversation take the form of a chance meeting, as if it weren’t apparent who they were and what their connection to Yakov – the head of the family, was?

Clearly, there is something else afoot. The Chafetz Chaim says that Esau saw something different in these children, and he was correct for identifying this difference. They were the first Jewish children – we are Bnei Yisrael, and Yakov’s children were the first of the lot! He saw a difference in them from other children he’d encountered, and we need only look at Yishmael and Esau themselves to see how children behaved in that society, so naturally Yakov’s children would act differently.

The Chafetz Chaim explains that the answer to what made them different is in Yakov’s answer. He answered “אֲשֶׁר חָנַן אֱ־לֹהִים אֶת עַבְדֶּךָ – with whom God has favored your servant”. Why did it not say the normal word for giving – נתן, instead it says חָנַן. The Chafetz Chaim teaches us that there is something else to be learned here that what made these children different was the merit of חָנַן- the Roshei Teivos of the 3 Mitzvos only women can perform – חלהר , נידה – the laws regarding the seperation of Challah, lighting Shabbos candles, and family purity. Yakov said within his reply to his brother what made his children special, that his wives observed these laws.

There are other interpretations of the נר part of observance, which just translates as light. The Sforno explains it to mean the light of Torah – it is a mother’s obligation to ensure her children know Torah – “v’al titosh Toras imecha”. How do we see this? There is a Gemara in Niddah which says that every baby in it’s mother’s womb has 2 things – an angel that teaches the baby the whole Torah, which it forgets at birth when the angel taps it’s lip, and a light above it’s head. We don’t see babies born with lights above their heads, so what does this mean? This means that the mother provided the circumstances through which the light of Torah shone on the child before it’s birth, and this is meant to continue throughout the child’s life.

There is a short story told about R’ Yaakov Galinski and the Chazon Ish circa 1953, that explains us what the light or Torah does. They were walking together in the street at night, and were walking under streetlights. The Chazon Ish said “Wow!” every time he walked under a light, and his student, R’ Yaakov asked what was going on. The Chazon Ish obliged; we are not meant to be arrogant people, but how does one work on this character trait if it is innate? The further away from the streetlight/light of Torah we are, the bigger your shadow appears. The closer we get to the streetlight/the light of Torah, the smaller we realize we actually are.

Geshmack !

By N of http://geshmacktorah.blogspot.com/

 

This week’s parsha tells the story of Yaakov Avinu and his time spent working for Lavan, his evil father-in-law. As I explained in a previous Dvar Torah, the actions of our forefathers were very often a sign for what would happen to future generations. Chazal note that Yaakov, throughout his time with Lavan, was giving us a model for how we are supposed to successfully navigate Galut (exile) as Jews living among the non-Jewish nations.

The Shulchan Aruch learns an interesting halacha from the story of Yaakov. It states in the laws of hiring workers (חושן משפט הלכות שכירות פועלים סימן שלז):

מוזהר הפועל שלא יבטל מעט כאן ומעט כאן, אלא חייב לדקדק על עצמו בזמן… וכן חייב לעבוד בכל כחו, שהרי יעקב הצדיק אמר: כי בכל כחי עבדתי את אביכן (בראשית לא, ו); לפיכך נטל שכרו אף בעולם הזה, שנאמר: ויפרוץ האיש מאד מאד (בראשית ל, מג)

The worker should be careful to not waste a little [time] here and a little there. Rather, he is obligated to be very meticulous with his time…additionally, he has to work with his full strength, since it says about Yaakov our father, “Because with my full strength I served your father [Lavan](Genesis 31:6).”  Therefore, he received reward even in this [physical] world as it states: “And the man [Yaakov] became very very wealthy (Genesis 30:43).”

(This law is later qualified to state that an employer cannot force his workers to work harder or more efficiently than customary in a particular place.)

With this in mind, why is the major lesson for us from Yaakov’s time in exile his meticulous and unparalleled work ethic?

In the story of Yaakov and Lavan, Yaakov continually holds himself to a much higher standard that was expected by society. Yaakov gives Lavan a list of examples at the end of the Parsha about how scrupulously honest he was while working for Lavan.  Yaakov didn’t eat the weak rams that weren’t needed for fathering more sheep when he was shepherding far away from civilization, even though that was common practice. Even more amazingly, Yaakov paid Lavan out of his own flock even for the sheep that were stolen at night — a problem he certainly could not have been faulted for.

While Yaakov was rewarded by Hashem monetarily for his high morals and became prosperous while working for Lavan, his other “reward” was extreme animosity from Lavan’s sons, who claimed absurdly that Yaakov had made himself rich at the expense of Lavan, despite direct evidence that employing Yaakov benefited the finances of the entire family.

Throughout history we have seen this story play out over and over again, with Jews being accused falsely for unscrupulous business practices followed by the worst pogroms we can imagine. If this is the “reward” for being honest in business, is it really worth it?

While Yaakov did have to deal with the animosity of Lavan and his sons, when things got rough he was also given a promise from Hashem. The pasuk says (31:3 בְּרֵאשִׁית):

וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוָה אֶל-יַעֲקֹב, שׁוּב אֶל-אֶרֶץ אֲבוֹתֶיךָ וּלְמוֹלַדְתֶּךָ; וְאֶהְיֶה, עִמָּךְ.

And the LORD said to Jacob: ‘Return to the land of your fathers, and to your kindred; and I will be with you.’

The Abarbanel says that this means that Hashem will protect Yaakov from Lavan and prevent the resentful and angry Lavan from harming Yaakov at all. We see this happen right after Yaakov takes his family and leaves Lavan’s house to return to Israel.  While Lavan is angrily pursuing Yaakov, Hashem comes to him in a dream and warns him not to say or do anything bad to Yaakov.

From this story we see that even if we act completely morally, antisemitism will still exist and we will still need extra protection from Hashem. Yaakov had to be able to say to Lavan that he had been flawless in their business relationship in order to ensure that Lavan had absolutely no claim to exact from him before they finally parted ways to ensure that Hashem’s extra protection was warranted.

In this way, Yaakov set the model for contemporary Jewish society. By living our lives as morally as we can and remaining scrupulously honest in all of our business practices, we ensure that Hashem’s promise to Yaakov will be with us as well and that we will continue to thrive and build the Jewish people despite our living in exile.

Have a wonderful Shabbat.

 

VaYeitzei 5770 The book Mesillas Yesharim, describes how the fate of the world depends on human deeds. If a person is drawn after the physical, he distances himself from Hashem, will himself be corrupted and will corrupt the world with him. However, “if he can rule over himself and he cleaves to his Creator and uses this world solely to aid him in serving his Creator, he will be elevated and the world itself will be uplifted with him” (Chapter 1). This message can be learned from the Midrash quoted by Rashi (Bereishis 28:11) regarding the stones that Yaakov Avinu gathered for his resting spot. “[The stones] began to quarrel with one another – each one said, ‘Let the tzaddik rest his head upon me.’” Self-denial of worldly pleasures is not the Jewish ideal; being mekadesh the chol (sanctifying the mundane/secular) through its proper use in furthering our spiritual growth is. Good Shabbos!

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